"Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline."

Do I really have any idea what I'm up to these days? Probably not; it's what makes me ignore all the sensible advice I get. I can't shake the feeling that I'm at a turning point in life, despite the fact that that feeling has been wrong before. Change is a good thing, but I'm not sure how much will actually happen. It's the downside of your 30's - inertia takes hold. Anyways, that's the incoherent thoughts in my head - dunno quite what reality is.

I've been far too used to an easy life of late. And it's hurting now that I've got a lot on my plate to cope with. The sort of stuff that most people might have a minor bit of stress over; except that I don't do stress these days! It's unfamiliar.

In the next month, I need a new suit fitted, I need travel insurance, I need help plan and organize a "last free night" for someone, I need to see the doctor, I need some shoes, I need to (quite probably) move into somewhere I've not even seen before the papers are signed. And it all needs to be done soon.

Really, over the course of a month, it's not so much. But I've had an easy life, and it's almost paralysing.

Edit: And I need to get the plumber over. And I have a major equipment move at work. And I have to book a friggin' citizenship test. And my window needs replacing. And the cabbage in the fridge needs eating... Total mess!!

Mere words can't describe this.
(It's work-safe)

After over a month of the worst weather ever, it's finall sunny and warm out there. I've celebrated in two ways:

First, by going to the Ben & Jerry's Sundae in the Park and eating enough free ice cream to make myself sick. It was particularly entertaining to watch people following the Witch around to get an ice cream sandwich. And the lemon sorbet was so tart it made my tongue curl - wonderful!

Second, I passed my UK driver's test. Yay, I'm legal! Of course I have no intention of owning a car here, but I figure I can sign up to one of those car share type thingies...

While listening to Jarvis Cocker playing at the Royal Festival Hall...

"I know my hearing isn't all that, but is this song all about how he wants to kill Bob Geldof? Because that's the vibe I'm getting."

A few weeks back, we were accidentally watching 'Embarassing Illnesses' on the telly. This one, rather large, girl was being inspected for her anal warts. For some reason, the cameraman decided this was a time to use EXTREME CLOSE-UP and I was scarred for life. But it got me thinking... There's a web site for every fetish known to humankind on the internet, isn't there? I mean, a search turned up people turned on by warty testicles and nosebleeds, so surely? Nope. No-one has registered 'wartyarses.com'. Or .net, .org, .co.uk, .eu, superwartyarses, thewartyasrses, mywartyarses, or wartyarsesworld either. Have I possibly discovered the one fetish not catered for by the internet? Or, even more unlikely, the one fetish that doesn't even exist? I'd say more research is needed, except that I really don't want to do it.

So yes, now I've been to Malta as well and I can promise yet more pictures that won't make it off of my camera until the memory card is filled... Sorry for being rubbish.

I really only came on to post a link to a field trip to the Creation Museum. You really can't make this shit up.

Whenever you take a vacation somewhere new, there is always one experience that sticks in your mind more than any other. It may not be the most interesting or exciting part, but for whatever reason you'll never forget it.

In the souks of Marrakech. Lost. It's late, and we're trying to get out. But not so late that we're willing to pay for the fact. Up walks a dodgy looking individual...

"Taxi?"
No.
"Hashish?"
No.
"Cocaine?"
Non. (Hoping a French accent helps understand this basic word)
"Heroin?"
Non. Rien!
"Certainement?"
Oui.
"D'accord."

And he walks off to bug someone else who looks out of place. Makes Brixton look tame, I guess. No-one offered me cream tea or anything.

There is one other moment I'll remember - Rob trying to kill us all by launching a Land Cruiser off a particularly sharp sand dune at high speed. *CRUNCH* Thankfully, sand is pretty soft after all. That's not really a vacation moment though; more of a life-flashed-before-my-eyes moment. (Insert usual unfulfilled promise of JPEGs to come)

Addendum:
In other news, I was enjoying watching Simon Pegg and Nick Frost take over C4 for the evening when I spotted a new ad on TV. It involves Mr. T driving a tank and throwing chocolate bars at people. I nearly tore something inside and I may need a new spleen. It's even funnier than Ben Johnson's Cheetah ad.